grief
I can CHOOSE!
My dog Cheyenne chose to leave her physical body on June 11th. I used to say I didn’t know how I would stand it when she left me.
Even in her leaving she is teaching me lessons. Like the river in the picture there are two directions I can go. I can choose grief or I can choose joy. I experienced deep grief the first few days after Cheyenne passed. Then something magical happened.
As I would start to feel the pain Cheyenne would appear – she would laugh at me and tell me I could be sad if I wanted but reminding me that I could CHOOSE to be joyful instead. I can choose to remember all the fun we had hiking , or just sitting looking out over the beauty of Sedona. I can remember how good I felt witnessing her absolute joy as she rolled around in the grass or on the carpet scratching her head and snorting with pleasure. I can replay the short film in my head of her chasing a rabbit – always giving up just before catching one. I can feel the warmth of her against me in the frigid night when we camped at Monument Valley. I can watch her splash and play in Oak Creek,or run up Castle Rock. I can celebrate her unconditional love, her peace, her complete absorption in the moment. I can see those deep brown eyes as they demanded a treat after dinner. I remember her dignity and tolerance as smaller dogs would bark and nip at her when she looked at me as if to say, “Mom, what’s their problem?” I can remember how she met me at the door every day tail wagging, grinning ear to ear, dancing around, so happy to see me no matter what….
Or I can CHOOSE grief!
I always have a choice. This has been a quiet revelation for me that I can CHOOSE to be happy in the wake of her death. In the past I would have chosen to wallow in my grief. Now I feel the grief and then it’s as if I watch it drift away, followed quickly with joy that I got to share my life with this beautiful animal friend.
I still believe in honoring our emotions. I believe that if we don’t honor our emotions we generally stuff them in our bodies where they cause more havoc. I believe that I can let them come up, feel them and then watch them gently drift away.
And I believe that I can CHOOSE whether to stay in that place of grief or CHOOSE differently.
I’m choosing to:
See the grief
Feel the grief
Let it drift away
CHOOSE JOY!
If you need help dealing with your choices I am always available for coaching…you can reach me at 602.999.2493 or email me BakeR@ThePsychiccoach.net.
Feel free to leave your comments below. Namaste,
by 
Angel Valley Garden of Transformation
Whatcha gonna do with the 36 cents sticky with coke on your floorboard?
When a woman on the street is huddled in the cold on a sidewalk vent trying to keep warm.
Do you call her over, hand her the change, ask her story, ask her name
Or do you tell yourself, you’re just a fool, a fool to believe you can change the world…
–Carrie Underwood
The other night André, my wonderful husband, reminded me that when I heal myself – I heal the world. Yep, you see I/we believe that God/Spirit/Love, whatever you call the Universal essence is all there is. Therefore, if Spirit is all there is, then it follows that we are Spirit – right here, right now manifesting in physical form. When we heal ourselves, that healing spirals out in big waves of love and heals all that it touches.
A fine example of this type of healing is being done October 8th at Angel Valley Retreat Center.
Angel Valley is where James Ray held his now infamous retreat last October which concluded with a sweat lodge. Yes, that sweat lodge! The sweat lodge that ended in tragedy for the families and friends of the three people who transitioned that night.
Michael and Amayra Hamilton the owners of Angel Valley have chosen to create a beautiful, sacred space, a memorial to honor those who passed a year ago. Above is a picture of the beautiful heart that was created from the river rocks used in the sweat lodge ceremony. Large crystals represent those who passed, surrounded by those who have known and loved them. Trees have been planted to symbolize new life.
Here is part of Angel Valley’s invitation:
At the same time we want to focus on how we make the next step. We have learned from the experience. We have grown. For many it has been a process of tremendous transformation, of getting a deeper understanding about life and death and a more profound appreciation for the preciousness of life. Therefore the ceremony will be a celebration of life.
On the occasion, what we have so far called the Memorial Site will be officially renamed The Garden of Transformation
I honor Michael and Amayra for what they are doing to heal the energy field, the Earth and the families and friends of Kirby Brown, James Shore and Liz Newman. I’m not here to judge the people involved or guess why it happened or if it could have been prevented. I am standing with Angel Valley in moving forward to heal their trauma, to heal all those involved and to heal all people. They are moving forward with love, grace and forgiveness. This Friday, the celebration of life ceremony will include meditation, prayers, poetry and music. All the families, friends and community have been invited.
This is one of those healings that has the potential to heal the planet, shifting the grief and anger to love and forgiveness. Not running away from the pain, but facing it, owning it and then taking the necessary steps to heal.
Where in your life is there something hanging out that you haven’t healed?
Take a moment to go inside – sit in silence or with quiet music. Ask who or what you need to forgive. You may be surprised what comes up (I was, when a woman from 20 yrs. ago came up – I thought I was done with that chapter). Whatever feelings come, allow yourself to be with them. You may experience anger, grief, fear, pain, frustration, disbelief, sadness – just allow yourself to feel it. If need be journal about your pain, let it all out. You can be as vicious as needed, purge it, get it out of you, rip it up and burn it. Now that you’re done with that – forgive them and forgive yourself.
When faced with this pain you may wonder how you could possibly forgive. As I told a client yesterday you just do it! Remember:
When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life.
You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself.
–Lewis B. Smedes
The person who wronged you has most likely moved on, maybe not remembering the incident at all. While you are still held prisoner.
It is your choice now – right now to heal or not. What’s it going to be? You really can decide to release this right now. You really can decide to heal – yourself and the energy field that we all rely on. Pigs were born to wallow in garbage not you! You are big enough, couragous enough and strong enough to cut that tumor out now.
p.s. Don’t forget to forgive yourself for carrying it this long! Feel better don’t you????
Want to feel better on a continual basis?
Call me now to schedule your FREE 30-minute coaching session or call 602.999.2493.
by 
